Ms. LaVie's School of Loving Arts

Divine Masculine

Living the Divine Masculine

An Interview with Shantam Nityama by Rebecca Walker

RW: Tell me a little bit about what you do and how you came into this work.

SN: I started out twenty years ago doing bodywork as a component of spiritual mentoring. Basically, I wanted to help people integrate what they knew spiritually into their everyday life. To have knowledge of a spiritual perspective and to implement that knowledge into your daily living are two completely different things. As people came to me for spiritual instruction, I began to realize most of them had deep repression that was not allowing them to accumulate the energy needed to develop spiritually. Each time I investigated the source of this stagnation, most of my discoveries revolved around the person’s sexuality and/or sexual energy channels. How the person is handled as a child or as a young adult around sex or sexuality related issues impacts them in their adulthood. As a young person the amount of shame, guilt, confusion, ignorance, and fear tied to the sexual energy was overwhelming.

It is sex that brings us onto the planet. We must realize that if we have difficulty with the primal energy that brought us here, then we are going to be mired in self-hatred and be confused about the very thing that has brought us into being.

The next revelation I had was the relationship between spirituality and sex is like the relationship between a butterfly and a caterpillar: If the caterpillar is not in good health and not strong, then you're not going to have a butterfly, or you are going to get a very weak and scrawny butterfly. So I started to realize that in order for people to open up spiritually, they had to come back and totally embrace their sexual energy and be clear about it in order for them to take that same energy and transform themselves.

RW: How did you make that connection?

SN: Well, the link was already there in the sense that the same energy that comes up through the tailbone of the person in order to animate their whole body and their whole existence is the same sexual energy that is needed in order to develop spiritually. So once it works its way up the spine to the crown of the head and other adjoining head centers, it is the flowering of the very same energy. As an experienced teacher of bodywork, I could sense and feel and really connect with these energies in the body through my intuition, my sense of feel and touch.

The other thing that I started to see was how the use of sex or the sexual act itself was a way of eliminating psychic toxicity -- or I'm going to even call it neuroses -- out of a person's field. And the more an individual has confusion around sex, while having no proper outlet for that energy, the more neurotic they become. I also came to realize how the sexual act itself was a way of catalyzing and balancing the creative energy inside a human being.

The more these similar findings showed up in the people that came to see me, the more I started to understand that many of the difficulties people were having, such as a lack of creativity and struggling to find purpose and so forth, came from their energy being shut down. They had no outlet for their creativity and purpose to flow through. In listening to various recounts of people’s childhoods, I've become aware of how as a society, we systematically shut the child down early on in life. We make the child stop following and being true to their own energy exactly the way it is. The moment the child is running for a mud puddle and we yell stop, the child has to do something to suppress their internal energy in order to follow that order. So immediately the child has to create a tension in the body and clamp down around this powerful energy that's moving through him or her in order to be able to conform to what is being asked of them.

In my field I frequently encounter spiritual teachers who firmly believe that enlightenment is the ultimate orgasm, and basically orgasmic bliss is your natural state. So I started to work with people, not to remove their tension, but to get them to re-embrace orgasmic bliss and to allow themselves to let the orgasmic bliss move through them again. As a result, the tension falls away effortlessly. The tension is just there to keep the orgasmic bliss at bay, because in our society nothing supports your walking around in orgasmic bliss. So much of the work consists of assisting people in becoming courageous enough to be orgasmic in a non-orgasmic world.

RW: This became the intention behind your work, to bring people to this state of constant orgasmic bliss?

SN: Yes. I started to utilize different ways of working with couples, mainly focusing on bringing the feminine energy back to its rightful place. That was crucial because at one point, I became aware of the fact that women represent the parasympathetic nervous system of our planet as far as the human species is concerned. Men represent the sympathetic nervous system, and when I looked and allowed myself to assess the situation, the parasympathetic nervous system was in dire straits. It was not healthy at all. And not only was it unhealthy, but it was as if the parasympathetic nervous system woke up one day and said, "It's not comfortable, it's not desirable, I don't like being the parasympathetic nervous system. I want to be a sympathetic nervous system." As a result, we're on the verge of both the parasympathetic and the sympathetic systems perishing.

RW: Can you explain these different systems for non bio-enlightened readers?

SN: The parasympathetic nervous system regulates all of your organs, hormones, enzymes, and all of the involuntary functions within the body - the things that keep the body alive. The sympathetic nervous system controls the larger muscle systems, the ones you use for hiking, running, and doing all the outer activities. In the medical profession, we already know the parasympathetic nervous system is essential. The sympathetic nervous system could actually collapse --totally collapse -- and the person would still be alive because the heart would be beating, the organs would still be functioning, the brain would still be functional even in a dormant state.

Now if the parasympathetic nervous system goes, it actually doesn't matter how strong the sympathetic nervous system is, the body immediately falls to the ground - done, finished. So in light of that, I realized in order for us to come back to a place of balance, and for humanity to actually start to move on as far as evolution is concerned,

We need to focus on the parasympathetic nervous system, to start to take a different type of care of the feminine, and to support women in realizing and understanding the beauty, joy and the exquisiteness of being a woman. Most women end up totally abandoning the feminine before they even see it, during puberty. Our attitude on the planet presently is, just forget the feminine. Go straight for the masculine. Basically, the men are men and the women are too. And as a result, we're losing something of major importance to our survival.

Another thing I've noticed is that many men of power, including myself, have a tremendous amount of respect for "woman", as far as their spiritual development and capacity - all men of power use the way of "woman" whenever possible, because any man that understands knows that the way of the woman is a thousand times more powerful than the way of the man. So as a result, he uses the way of the woman. And when he needs to use the way of the man, he uses it with precision. And the moment it's no longer necessary, he falls back into the way of the woman. Conscious men do this willingly with great ease and finesse. Other men who cling to machismo and deny the way of the woman have no idea how much they hold back their own spiritual development via their denial.

RW: So it isn't just about supporting the feminine in the female, it is also about supporting the feminine within the male.

SN: You could say that.

RW: And for all of us who have deconstructed the way of the woman and need a refresher course, the way of the woman is what, exactly?

SN: The way of the woman is the allowing of light. Her way is transparency, receptivity, tenderness, yieldingness, availability, and she neither uses her sex nor neglects it. The way of the woman is the utilizing of pure intuition as a way of knowing. It is a knowing without knowing how you know and trusting that. Whereas the way of the man is that if he can't show on paper how he got from point A to point B, then maybe point B doesn't exist.

The woman’s way of perception is totally different from the way a man perceives. Her way of perceiving is greatly dispersed. It includes all of the senses simultaneously without focusing on any one of them in particular. So when a woman walks into a room she picks up on the smell of the room, the color of the room, the feel of the room, the taste of the room, the visual impact of the room. She takes in all of this in one fell swoop. She doesn't have to go through each one of them. She just comes in, and practically imbibes the room on all these different levels simultaneously. And if you ask her about her experience of the room, she would reply, "Oh it was exquisite, it was this, and it had that feel to it, and you could just smell this, and everything just fit together so well."

And in turn, she is also able to register disharmony and discord, which equips her to be a reliable barometer to let the community know when things are not as harmonious as they could be.

But in order for her way to be of value, the men in the community need to be able to hear the woman's perception without taking it and twisting it to make it palatable to the male mind. Because in the process of doing that, he distorts what the woman has communicated to such a degree that it renders it impotent. It diminishes the power of her communication. For men to stand differently with women in this new place they need to cultivate the ability to listen to a woman’s communication while respecting her framework of perceiving, so he understands what she’s saying, rather than attempting to run it through his mind to determine whether or not it makes sense to his style of conceptualizing.

So the work I do, the body work techniques, the processes, and the workshops have all been geared to looking at how to authentically restore the feminine energy back to the feminine and how to educate men to be adept enough to assist women in eliminating some of the pain, confusion, fear, and mishandling that almost every woman, I believe, has encountered one way or another on our planet. How can we reverse this and work with her to the point that she can return to herself and fully embody the experience of her energy?

Much of what a woman encounters in her life actually diminishes the power of her womb, or steals from it. Part of healing is restoring the womb’s ability to manifest not only children, but also things of a higher nature that you want to bring into life: more abundance, more love, greater sense of community, and so on. All these things can actually be born through the womb the same as a child, but only when the woman’s energy in her womb is innocent again. And by innocent I mean that the fear, the shame, the guilt, the rage, the anger, the lack of self worth, the jealousy, the repression -- all of these energies need to be removed from woman's womb through "conscious lovemaking" in order for the woman to return her womb to innocence. With a womb that’s in the innocent state, which I just described, you could actually drop a seed of intention into it and it would practically sprouts upon entry, this is the power of "the woman and her womb.".

I have been dedicated to finding new ways to work with men, to teach them how to make love to women as a means of returning the womb back to this innocence, how to help a woman process the pain, the fear, the shame, the guilt, and all the other emotional qualifications that she superimposed on her energy. These negating emotions need to be removed in order for the energy to be totally free, pure, creative energy again. This will allow it to manifest whatever it chooses at a higher octave.

RW: How do you work with men to cultivate this apprehension of and ability to heal the feminine? This seems like a radically transformative process, how do you approach it?

SN: There are a number of things that I communicate to men when I begin to work with them. The first thing is to encourage them to drop all fantasies. I help them to see that they need to be authentic when they are communing with a woman, and that they need to cultivate the ability in themselves to stalk and feel her energy. Meaning anytime a man needs to have a fantasy about some naked woman, a fantasy about some movie star, or a fantasy about some other woman that he would like to be with, in order to be with the current woman, he has totally separated himself from this woman. Whatever he does with this particular woman will actually be injurious to her. It will not be helpful to her as far as her restoring herself back to wholeness.

The other thing that is very important is bringing men to understand that when they are touching a woman they are touching her either as a way of promoting her well being or they are adding insult to previous injury. And the way for them to be clear that they are adding something through their touch that is helpful to her is to make sure that whenever they touch a woman with any part of themselves, whether it be their hand, their arm, or whatever, that they become a part of what they are touching and all of their consciousness is in the slightest of touches. For example when touching with the hand, the man must be conscious to use this experience as a means of making sure that he is totally piercing her with his consciousness through the hand, and being totally present in the hand. He wants to feel, sense and intuit the woman's communication back to the hand so that they know there is a resonance taking place that is moving equally between the two of them. Through these types of conscious interactions the man has the ability to start to follow the woman's internal energy and be able to register, in his consciousness, the most minute movements and shifts within that woman's body, within her field, within her consciousness, within her emotions, within all different aspects of her.

Once a man has developed this capacity, then he also has the ability when he's making love to her to know how to detect the slightest tension, a tightening inside of her womb, or whatever. He can detect whenever he touches on a place that is the least bit painful or that she's apprehensive about opening, and then through that registry, he can in turn communicate with the woman and ask her to breathe her way into these places, see what they are about, and then jointly the two of them, once she has named it, can actively transmute whatever it is in order to start to restore her womb back to innocence.

As well another significant part to notice is that men need to be aware of their need to take responsibility for the quality of energy that they bring to a woman when they come to her. Say for instance, a man has a really rough day with his boss. He's totally angry, totally pissed off. He comes home. He never says anything about it, or maybe he says something about it, but he doesn't totally own responsibility for it. He makes love to the woman. He actually downloads his negative energy into her as he's making love.

Three or so days later, the woman will actually give birth to this energy. So all of a sudden she's angry, and doesn't understand why. Out of nowhere, she's totally angry, when in actuality the energy that he has deposited in her has now had enough time to integrate itself into her and come out as a manifestation. So in light of that process, it is very important for a man even if he brings anger home, that he says, "Baby, you know what, I'm carrying so much anger right now from work today, and I would love if we could come together and consciously transmute it."

So in this process, he still downloads the negative feelings into the woman, but after he downloads it and he's free of it, then he consciously engages with her so that she can in turn, turn right around and bring that energy back to the head of his penis in order for it to be transmuted. She is assisting him in processing what he's feeling, but instead of him just dumping it and walking off, he turns around and helps her transmute it so that it is no longer there to disturb either one of them. Most men have not been aware of the second half of the process.

RW: I think that is an understatement! Well, how is this psychic matter transmuted from the head of the penis?

SN: The head of the man's penis is electrical. So when the women brings anything that has a less than positive charge on it, the penis energy immediately transmutes it and changes it into a positive form. At that point, the anger or the emotion is transformed. And now the energy is just pure energy again. It comes back into the woman as a wave of bliss, and it runs into the man as an orgasmic wave.

RW: So if he brings it into her, she brings it back to him, puts it on the penis. It's then transformed into bliss. Sounds like a good system.

SN: Exactly. Bliss for her and orgasmic bliss for him. So it's almost like a field in which you make higher ecstatic energy. You create this field that can be used to transform negativity that you encounter in your life on a daily basis.

RW: If you can bring that level of consciousness to the process.

SN: Yes, if you can bring that level of consciousness to the process. So the woman becomes able to assist that man without becoming a dump site that is just dumped in continuously.

The same thing is going on with the earth. We have just been dumping in the earth, but we have not used our intelligence to see how you transform whatever you put into the dump, how to make it recyclable, so that it actually becomes a functional working part of the earth again. Women, the earth, it is the same, and we have not taken care of either. We've dumped, but we have not taken care to work with them and be present for them in order for them to take whatever is involved and recycle it so that it is no longer poisoning them.

RW: So these tools, and of course we are just barely touching upon the depth of the work that you do, how open do you find that men are to them? Can they easily make this shift? What are some of the obstacles they face in this work?

SN: Pride is one of the major obstacles. A lot of men do not want to even begin to sit still to expose themselves to concepts that they don't already know. I have had to design ways to offset that by demonstrating the concepts to men with a woman in order for them to actually see and visualize where a woman is capable of going. Once they see this demonstration, and once they see how far they are from even beginning to do what they've witnessed, only then do they open themselves for some kind of communication around these new concepts. But if I just talk to them, I find that it has absolutely no bearing.

RW: They need the experiential. They need to have it imprinted on their body. They need to touch it and see it.

SN: What I've noticed when talking to men is that they assume they already know women. So they can't even visualize anything different from what they know. I may say something to them. They go, "Oh yeah, yeah. I know that." But if they see a woman move and respond through the process that I'm taking her through and then they see that there are things going on that they've never witnessed before in their life, then all of a sudden their whole attitude changes. They're more humble. They're more willing to say, "Well, I don't even understand how what I just saw could happen." And then that opens a door for me to be able to have a much deeper communication with them. I then get the chance to start communicating with them about the energy world, how the energy world works. If I tell a man that I can bring a woman to orgasm from across the room, he won't believe me. If he sees me bring a woman to orgasm from across the room, I've got his attention.

RW: Is there a way you are being that is an alternative masculine that they are also witnessing that they can now aspire to, that they did not see before?

SN: Totally. In many ways what I am doing is demonstrating a totally new way of being on the planet as a man. I am introducing the option of a man being present and really starting to learn and function with total awareness from the energy level rather than walking around thinking that everything is solid. The moment that a man sees some of these demonstrations, his mind opens to realize, wait a minute: If you did that from that distance, then that means there is a possibility of some energy that's here that I have not really given any validity to. There's something here bigger than my mind can even wrap around.

I'm opening a door for a man to start to be present with a woman and know what it feels like to be making love to her twenty four hours a day seven days a week, just in how he moves through the room, how he utilizes his energy, how he walks, everything that he's doing in light of how the woman's perception is so dispersed. Everything that he does in a room is impacting on her and having some influence and impact on her energetically. So the more that he becomes aware of the energy world, the more that he moves through the world and moves in and around women as though his very movement is making love to them. Given this awareness, the woman feels more loved, nurtured and safe. They start to really enjoy and appreciate being a woman because of the way the men around them are moving-- it is bringing up some of the most exquisite textures and feelings and sensibilities in them that have not been a part of our society.

RW: Is there a bridge practice that you teach, to help people to get to this information?

SN: Yes, I teach a type of energetic hugging. Most people feel that a hug is just a gesture, but what I teach is that hugging can be quite healing. Hugging can restore balance. Hugging can be orgasmic. Hugging has many different aspects to it; once they are learned, then the hug can become a very powerful tool within our communities that can help everyone to stay balanced. So one of the first things I do is demonstrate a hug, then I show people how to hug, and form hugging circles so that they get to hug all of the people that are present in the room, and feel the healing power of that.

Most of the difficulty that the populace has in accepting these ideas is that they need to have an experience that allows them, on an individual basis, to feel the impact and feel the importance of what is being introduced. The importance of it is that they need to feel it and actually have it as a visceral experience within their own bodies. The moment that a person has a visceral experience at that level, you are no longer talking to them about something that they have to believe. You are now communicating with them about something they have actually experienced, and they know it to be real.

Introducing people to an awareness of the energetic world immediately changes them. Immediately they become hungry to know more about what they've just experienced. This opens the doorway for you to be able to communicate and share with them more and more complex ways of moving and being in the world from an energetic standpoint.

My experience is that consciousness is always reaching to expand itself. But we have been living in a world that has minimized the opportunity for an individual to come in contact with anything that is expanding. My work is to come in, introduce something that creates a level of expansion, which then immediately triggers the consciousness to want more of itself.

RW: What is it about the culture as it is now that cultivates men who lack the sensitivity and attention you are teaching?

SN: There are a number of conditions, and some of them are far beyond the awareness and consciousness of the mind at this point to even be able to let in. Part of it has to do with the fact that there are actually energies and beings present on the planet that thrive in a state of fear and confusion.

So much of the tone has been set on the planet, if you pay attention to your news, everything basically coming through mass communication is fear based. This fear is from and for those beings that are here and thrive on fear. But as a result of this, it is turning the planet-- as far as the people that thrive on love-- making it more and more difficult for them to be able to survive here in any kind of balanced and healthy way.

So it is very important for men to start to really utilize various aspects of their spiritual nature to be able to discern the quality of the different ideas and the different concepts that they allow themselves to take into their being and give a home to. Like now, they are basically out there, and they have been very heavily indoctrinated away from what is natural by the media. If you look at the movies, there are movies that basically show a man just violently taking a woman. They show a man making love and it's something that lasts about two, three minutes. So, if you ask women, this is how long the sexual act lasts now or is expected to last. I hear this all over the world.

If you couple that with a total media bombardment that makes men more and more insensitive, he ends up not knowing which way is home. So he ends up trying to take all this insanity and construct a map for how he's going to live. The reality is that he is totally confused.

In my workshops I talk a lot about men needing to refrain from being duped into sitting before TV's and newspapers and being told what is real in the world. He needs to make sure that he doesn't lose touch with the streets, with what he can touch and feel himself. He needs to go out and through his own experience come to know what is real and not real. Otherwise, he's just like a leaf blowing in the wind with absolutely no direction. And this does not serve him. It does not serve any woman he would be around. It does not serve society. It does not serve the planet for a man to be here with no direction and no purpose. No understanding of how the energy coming through him is to be used as a gift to the community he is in. If he does not have a connection with that aspect of his depth, he is dangerous to whatever degree he is lacking.

RW: How do you see this moving within the next several years? What is your vision for it?

SN: Well, some of it will be dictated by what happens on our planet. This planet is going through a major transition right now. It's pretty much up for grabs in that anytime there is a potential for enlightenment, there's an equally intense potential for regression, for endarkenment. So it's really going to be sort of nip and tuck as far as how quickly consciousness is going to be raised on the planet to offset things going toward endarkenment.

But I also feel that in this process or in that transition, the work that I'm doing and the work that others are doing is actually being dictated by this need for a shift. So my work is accelerating. I'm doing more workshops and mentoring more men as fast as I can, duplicating myself. And as fast as I can, I am helping to bring more and more health and wholeness to more women on the planet.

RW: And I thank you for that.

Learn more about Shantam Nityama at his website,

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